Stephen Yeargin

I have learned in my two years of marriage and five years of being with my wife that she and I handle illness very differently. She has a strong desire to know exactly what is wrong, whereas I prefer to just sleep it off. She prefers to be taken care of (I fail often in this duty), while I prefer to simply be left alone.

Samantha is Sick

• Day 1: Slight discomfort; Promptly opens a case file on the ailment. Internet searches track down each symptom.
• Day 2: Wake up feeling miserable. Schedules doctor appointment.
• Day 3: Attempt a remedy that worked for someone, find article describing vaguely similar much-worse-condition-itis.
• Day 4: Minor improvement, still trip to the doctor. Share research with doctor in an attempt to figure out what is wrong.
• Day 5: Low dose of prescription drugs work wonders, feeling much better and glad it is not that much-worse-condition-itis.
• Day 6: Much better and back to normal.

Cost: An afternoon of personal time, $20 co-pay and a less than $30 in medicine.

Stephen is Sick

• Day 1: Crud starts to creep in. Sleep it off.
• Day 2: No improvement, go to work. Co-workers suggest he go home. Finish work day and sleep it off.
• Day 3: No improvement, go to work. Co-workers implore he go home or to the doctor. No longer able to sleep at night.
• Day 4: No improvement, go to work. Co-workers demand he go to the doctor. Calls wife to have her schedule appointment.
• Day 4.5: Go to the doctor, find out it would have been easier to treat two or three days ago. Given really strong drugs.
• Day 5: Stay home, take medicine. Sleep for hours upon hours. Wake up feeling only slightly better.
• Day 6: Stay home, forget to take medicine. If he is lucky, he does not start the process all over again.

Cost: Two and a half days of vacation time, $20 co-pay and $70 or more in medicine.