I could have also called this one "Things I learned today at a wedding and the reception", or "Advice I wish I had before making a fool of myself."
- There might be something to designate you as a fraternity brother of the groom (like a silk red rose).
- Try to pay close attention to those around you to notice that you might need said token.
- If wife goes to restroom, wait for her before entering the sanctuary. She would have noticed.
- The side of the room you sit down on to wait for her matters (a lot).
- The ushers are supposed to escort your wife to her seat, not you.
- When singing a ballad with your fellow fraternity members to the bride at the reception, just lip-sync the parts way out of your vocal range.
- If a group of said fraternity members start walking towards the dance floor, do not automatically follow.
- Upon seeing that a garter is involved (being a married man already), realize immediately that you are in the wrong place.
I might not get invited to too many more weddings at this rate. I also think that I have signed myself up for etiquette homework for the next month.