There seems to be an inverse relationship between the length of the day (longer) and how much I feel I can accomplish in it (very little). I went to dinner Monday night with some friends from college after being in a mad rush Saturday to get down to the Sommet Center, so much so that all I could manage was a "Hey, I know you guys!" when they called out from across the street. One is about to be married and the other is heading out to New Mexico for training to become an air traffic controller. I am afraid my narrative pales in comparison.
Our dinner conversations were probably not appropriate for the setting of the casual family restaurant in question. Even so, it was refreshing to realize that regardless of where our respective life trajectories are heading, we still have those common threads. I have had a lot to think about lately about the lives of friends and family, and have reached a few conclusions.
1. You are never really the same person from one day to the next. Life's experiences are going to, even if subtly, redefine how you think and how you interact with other people. In political speak, the conservative you meet one day may adopt a liberal position the next and vice versa. Nobody truly fits the mold, even one of their own creation.
2. Any relationship built on honesty and integrity has a better chance of succeeding. It is hard to think of two people going their separate ways if both of these values are shared between them. A lack of either is the calling card for a failed friendship.
3. The best friendships are also founded on versatility and understanding. If you can see someone for the first time in years and can pick up the conversations and laughter right where you left off, you have found a strong friendship. I am really fortunate to have many such friendships.
4. Never trade or forsake your values to gain the acceptance of another person. Apologizing for mistakes and forgiving others are essential in life, but both must be sincere. To apologize only because you were caught is to lack integrity. To forgive those that do not show remorse has a very similar effect on things such as integrity and honesty.
5. Some friendships and relationships will fail. The ties that bind two people to one another can and will be broken. Sometimes it happens all at once in an argument and sometimes it just happens over time and distance. This is particularly true if either party lacks versatility and understanding, or worse honesty and integrity.
I am neither a philosopher nor a psychology major, but I have witnessed each of these concepts play out in the last few months. I have also realized that some of the hardest advice to take is your own.